The Why Behind Teaching Gratitude
NBA Coach and Player, Phil Jackson once said, “There is so much more to life than basketball and there is so much more to basketball than basketball.” And I’m sure, as a parent, you would know that a huge part of basketball – and any sport for that matter – is the opportunity for character building and developing life skills – including gratitude.
No one is questioning whether gratitude is an important life skill to have. You and I both know grateful people are happier people. And if that is true for life, then it is most certainly true for the basketball court. Your child’s enjoyment of basketball – and therefore long-term success – will ultimately be determined by whether or not they are grounded in gratitude.
Okay, so the real question in the mind’s of all basketball parents is how to teach gratitude through basketball. Let’s talk about it…
“CHILDREN HAVE MORE NEED OF MODELS THAN CRITICS.” – CAROLYN COATS
Identify the Thief of Gratitude
There is an old aesop’s fable of a man, a boy and a donkey that I highly recommend learning. The moral of the story is that along your journey there will always be noise coming from different people who love to share their opinions, judgements and critiques of the way you and people around you are doing things. If you allow the noise to dictate the way you live, you will please no one – including yourself, as you will never accomplish what you set out to do to begin with.
Applied to the basketball journey, there will always be noise – “You’re the best… You should’ve been selected for that team… The coach should play you more… What was your teammate thinking… I can’t believe they didn’t get you the ball…” on and on it goes. If players allow the noise to dictate their attitude and their approach to their coach, their teammates and their game in general, believe me, they will only end up losing; and I’m not just talking in basketball alone – I’m talking in life too.
This noise is the thief of gratitude. And what have we already established? Gratitude is essential for your child’s enjoyment of basketball and therefore long-term success – not to mention, the success of your child’s team in every season.
“YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IN LIFE PROVIDED YOU DO NOT MIND WHO GETS THE CREDIT.” HARRY S. TRUMAN
Truly understanding this, identifying the thief of gratitude and refusing to participate in the burglary is the beginning of grounding your child’s basketball journey in gratitude.
Don’t add to the noise.
“WHETHER THEY BECOME A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE OR A PROFESSIONAL IN ANY OTHER FIELD OF LIFE, THEY WILL REMEMBER HOW THEIR PARENTS HELPED THEM NAVIGATE THEIR PASSIONS.” – STEPH CURRY
Your Most Powerful Weapon for Teaching Gratitude
The car can be a very noisy place. And I’m not talking about the kids or the music… But you are here – you clearly want to capitalize on this unique opportunity you have to teach your child the right things through basketball. So I hope every time you put that seat belt on after a game you hear my voice in the back of your head – ‘this is your most valuable and powerful weapon – the car ride!’
Unfortunately, sometimes parents will unknowingly use this valuable weapon for mass destruction within a team and their child’s basketball journey instead of setting their child up for life and intentionally focusing on their development.
Parents can often get caught on how many minutes/shots/etc their child is getting, but before you think out loud and add to the noise along your child’s basketball journey, ask yourself – are those things what this is all about? Or is it about teaching those life skills and helping develop your child’s character for their good?
“A TROPHY CARRIES DUST. MEMORIES LAST FOREVER.” – MARY LOU RETTON
Ask yourself if you’re asking the right questions; Are your questions making it all about your child or are they making it about the core values of team and team perspective?
Consider gearing your questions around what a coach is telling your child to do and whether they’re being a star in their given role. Eventually that role may expand, but influencing your child to be a star in a role that goes beyond what the coach is asking of them, is very destructive.
Parent’s don’t always realize how destructive their advice to be the star of the team is – and often this noise -ahem, I mean advice – is communicated within a car ride.
If you want your child to learn valuable life lessons, such as gratitude, from basketball, what’s most important is being coachable/ok with what the coach is saying. Use the car ride home – your valuable weapon – for raising a child who’s grounded in gratitude and set for life.
THE GREATEST REVOLUTION OF OUR GENERATION IS THE DISCOVERY THAT HUMAN BEINGS, BY CHANGING THE INNER ATTITUDES OF THEIR MINDS, CAN CHANGE THE OUTER ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES.” – WILLIAM JAMES
Teaching Gratitude Practices Through Basketball
Outside of that car ride there are plenty of ways you can ensure your child is grounded in gratitude and I am a huge advocate for implementing gratitude practices wherever you can. Here are some practical ways you can teach gratitude specifically through basketball:
- Ask the right questions after games/trainings. (We spoke on this above, but here are some specific questions you can consider asking): ‘Did you work hard? What did you learn today? Did your coach give you any coaching points to take away? What’s something you had fun with/are grateful for?’
- Teach your child to say thank you to the coach with a fist bump or handshake after each training session. Encourage them to really take note of one thing they enjoyed and/or want to keep working on and express this when saying thank you. Most coaches are volunteers and a thank you like that can go a long way.
- Instill a no complaining mindset. Yes we want kids to feel safe expressing their feelings, but try to encourage them to think about how they can replace any complaint with a statement of gratitude. Ensure they understand the damage that a negative complaining mindset can have on their basketball team, season and journey. If a player complains about teammates/coaches/this & that after a game or training, I would say, ‘check yourself’ because you’re not getting the point.
- Implement a Game Day Gratitude Journal. Have your child write 3 things they are thankful for before and after each game.
- Help your child send someone on the team a message of gratitude each week. To coaches, managers, teammates & parents – this can be so powerful for building connections and truly making the most out of the relationships we get to cultivate through basketball.
- Help your child give a gift/write a note of gratitude at the end of the season. To the coach, but also anyone you genuinely feel grateful for/who spent time and energy on you & your team throughout the season!
Dear Basketball Parent - Thank You!
However you choose to teach gratitude, I applaud you, dear parent! Thank you for even being here. Being a parent is a pretty thankless job and my guess is you are doing a much better job than you realize/have been told.
Thank you for giving your child that car ride to and from trainings and games week in and week out – selflessly giving up your weekends and weeknights. Please know that you are doing an amazing job!
I, for one, am grateful you want to know how to teach gratitude through basketball. Thank you for caring so much for your child and for making the basketball world a better place!
– Your Pro Ball Buddy 🧡
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Great job Teige! I love the positive attitude of gratitude and all the motivational quotes!
Thank you!So glad you love it and find it so motivational! Grateful for you! :))
Great job Teige! I love the positive attitude of gratitude and all the motivational quotes!